Published 2026-05-28
tag(s): #random-thoughts #failures
This morning I woke up tired and in a "down" mood, for reasons.
Stuff happened, on the way to the office, and then break room. Mood shifted (not 100%
recovered, but I'll get there as the day goes by).
On the 3 subway, there was this tall young guy, dressed in a light blue suit, colorful (but
not playful) tie, thick black rim round glasses, and a hat. He looked so out of time!!! Like,
straight out of the late 50s.
He gave me a bit of envy, I always liked that era of men's clothing. I haven't watched
Untouchables in years, there are two things that immediately come to mind from that movie: the
stroller scene parodied in Naked Gun, and how cool everyone dresses.
Here is the thing, as you might have seen in the pictures I share here, I barely even use
polos anymore. I am a t shirt guy. Once in a while I decide that I want to dress as an adult,
but then I visit a store and I'm totally drawn to all the cartoon t shirts.
The previous paragraph reminded me of this:
Yesterday when driving back from Costco, the kiddo asked me if he could pull off going to
school wearing his (off-brand) aviator sunglasses. I told him, That is very much up to you.
The trick to wearing anything is confidence. When I was a kid I would have never used a
cartoon or character t shirt, I was just too self conscious, but nowadays I don't care so in a
sense, I pull it off. Doesn't mean it looks good, or doesn't, it just doesn't matter. If you
walk into school with your sunglasses, and when someone mocks you for it you laugh it off,
then you will be fine. If you are self-conscious about wearing them, then it won't
work
I am 99% sure that when I was a teen, even wearing "nice" formal clothes would have
made me self-conscious. It is interesting how at that age (at least some of us) want as much
to be seen and also to be completely invisible.
Anyway...
A dad and daughter got on the subway. They spoke Spanish, and she was wearing a graduation hat
(whatever they are called). A few stations later I sat down across from them, and her hair
caught my attention. She obviously needed to cut the tips, or use some sort of cream
or oil product, because they were too dry.
Says the bald dude.
This made me laugh. On the inside, because I was too moody for a real smile (?).
Like, who do I think I am? Wasn't I ruminating just a few minutes ago, about how I can't
handle dressing fancy myself? And I don't have any hair myself, yet here I was
mentally giving this kid advice on how to upkeep hers.
I used to joke that I have a gay side, in that sometimes I notice things in how people are
dressed, or if they are wearing make up, or changed their hair, etc. When we were teens, my
sister did outfit checks with me before going out, many times.
I don't say that anymore though, because at some point I realized that thinking of noticing
those things as something gay is just outdated gender norms. And also (related?), as I became
more accepting of myself, I really don't need to label that as anything. I just happen to,
sometimes, notice and observe those things.
(At this point in my life, it is clear this is an ability that I can potentially apply to others but not on myself, as all my outfits consists of a pair of jeans and whatever t shirt I find in the closet first. I am fine with this.)
I was getting hot water for my 🧉 in the kitchen, and someone else dropped by, said hi, and
asked how I was doing. I wasn't in the mood to talk much, to be honest, so we exchanged
formalities. Talking about being sleepy, there was a comment about their alarm being too loud,
"...but it really makes sense".
"Makes sense? I'd rather have a quiet alarm." I said.
"But in my case of course, I am VERY loud, so it matches me!". The sitcom-esque
comedic delivery of this line got an honest smile out of me.
By the time I was back at my desk, I couldn't help but relax my face and let the day begin.
...there's none.
I wrote this in 7 parts, because I just felt like writing and I am herding some stuff in the
background.
We can see this post as the final step in my morning therapy.