Published 2026-01-15
tag(s): #yell-at-cloud #failures
Let's preface saying, I was never a good dater. It took a series of coincidences for me to
even have a love life. =P
But bizarre and contrived as my dating past is, I am so happy it happened
when it happened, instead of this modern era of dating apps. I just don't get it. Maybe if I
wasn't old[1] I would be fine with it.
I saw this ad a few days ago in the subway:
W. T. F.
I guess the intent is that the app is about genuine connections, but to me that read like a
frigging interview question. Straight out of LinkedIn.
When LinkedIn was about tired interview tropes instead of self-aggrandizing
"""inspirational""" content.
Imagine showing up to a date, or even in the context of an online chat, and open with
"what did you learn about yourself this year?"? I would totally expect the next
question to be "in what type of role do you see yourself in five years". Maybe let's
go over the list of acronyms in my resume, while we are at it.
This is what hell looks like[2]. I think if I was born just a few years
later, I would have died alone rather than go through this circus...Or maybe I would think it
is normal (but still die alone, probably).
What's wrong with small talk? let things be awkward, that's the best part of meeting someone
in this context...you don't know what to say, how the other person sees you, etc.
I mean, it sucks, but that's real and something you carry with you forever. It gives
you fun anecdotes to share with friends and it is something to remember if you do date.
Asking stuff like this as conversation openers (as I understand it is implied in the ad)
is crazy.
Mmmm "Guys guys guys, you don't know what happened with in my date last night, I asked
her how she was doing and she asked back what did I learn about myself last year". That's
an anecdote I guess. 🙃
Maria and I still make fun of our first date, in a tea shop. I ordered a slice of cheesecake,
and she got a slice of maracuyá cheesecake, I mocked her choice, she redirected the snark back
at me. It was funny. I mean, it wasn't a real life sitcom, but it was fun enough and something
we remember very fondly.
Basically we were both nervous messes and that's all we could come up with...stupid comments
about what we ordered. That's real...
Anyway...I am open to concede that maybe I am the one out of touch here. Maybe the dating scene in the apps is so terrible that this is actually good advice. Maybe this is what kids crave this day, deep questions. I am not the ad's audience after all...
