Drivers: use signals in the correct order

Published 2025-08-31

tag(s): #overblown-minor-annoyances

Today we returned from the Adirondacks. We left early-ish and took some back roads to enjoy the scenery and spot our potential next destination in the area (Long Lake, probably).

In all of the roads I experienced a variant of this scenario:
Car in front of me starts breaking. Slows down a bit more. And more. At this point I think...Unless they had a mechanical failure...they are about to turn? because why else would they slow down so much? .
And right as I think this and their car is moving at a snail's pace, the blinker goes on. And I am like...Oh I see.

But that is in the front of my mind.
In the back of my mind I am cursing my fellow driver in very colorful terms, so colorful that they might get my blog canceled.
So I will leave it to reader imagination to picture the worst curses, and then try to picture words with an even stronger level of offensiveness, unwarranted hate, and pettiness.

How to make me happy

Oh, what a beautiful day to be a driver. What a marvel of engineering this vehicle is. I love the interstate/this winding mountain road/this city.
Look! I can see the intersection/highway exit/corn farm I need to make a turn on. I will reduce my speed slightly and then turn on my blinker. So the bald fella I can see from my rearview mirror, has a clue what's about to come. I have seen him a while ago because I check my mirrors so often! And apropos of nothing, by golly is he a fine specimen of manliness behind the wheel.
Anyway, not to get distracted by that spectacularly shiny forehead...I can now safely keep reducing my speed, since everyone behind me knows I am about to turn or take an exit.
Being a driver is so joyful. I hope everyone around me is having a great day.

I don't think I am asking for anything too special here. As you start slowing down, turn on your blinker so I know you are about to turn or take an exit. Everything else is optional.
But thank you for the compliments.

What really happens

People go from 60 mph to 25 mph in 3 seconds and then turn on their blinkers.
Yeah, by now I had to slam my brakes and I figured you were about turn, and that you are...genius...of the first order.

I am also considering that maybe we do deserve extinction.

Another disgraceful variant

People who turn on their blinkers as they are turning. I can picture them inside their cars, going "ooops, forgot the little light hohoho" and then they turn it on.
Dude, I've been there. You get to feel dumb that you forgot to turn it on, and carry on. Own it and let it be.
To turn on the blinker that late, it is malicious compliance.

Oh so you are so perfect in your driving that you criticize others

LOL no, I drive way faster than I should, fit my car in the tightest spaces when I could wait for a minute[1], and treat yellow as a variant of green.

But guess what:

  1. I have a blog, the other drivers don't.
  2. I am somewhat confident my wife does not read my blog
  3. Even if she did, she doesn't have a blog of her own to set the record straight.
So between you and me, I am the Smokey Bear of drivers.[2]

In closing

George Carlin: "Everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and everyone going faster is a maniac".
Footnotes
  1. Pointing out here "but the car always fits, with even a few millimeters on each side for the mirrors" will make me sound like people who say "Yes, I drive after drinking, and guess what, I never had a crash!".
    But it is also true 😏
  2. If someone from the USA reads this, and if there's is an "animal for safe driving" like Smokey is for wildfires, please enlighten me :)[1]
  3. The geico from Geico doesn't count, he is not a "PSA animal".

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