Published 2025-07-25
tag(s): #random-thoughts
This week I read two different articles about how taking a stance can be perceived, mostly in
relation to consumerism. There's a (very tenuous) connection to something I've been thinking
about for a few days now...and that was the final push to sit down and write this post.
I felt like clearing the idea with my wife, which I did earlier today. Because this story
starts with a conversation we had in our recent vacation.
But let's go backwards in time, like all the cool shows and movies do nowadays...and also so I link all the relevant posts. Sharing is caring.
Checking out Nicola Losito's reads for this week, I landed on the post "The Billionaire Boycott Conundrum". These passages caught my eye:[1]
Some decisions are easier than others, for all sorts of reasons. But not every decision you’ll make will be a pure one, because very few things in the world are pure. Don’t worry, the people who criticize you for your decisions have their own baggage. [...] You will get shit from some people if you boycott. You will get shit from some people if you don’t boycott. You will get shit from some people if you boycott one company or billionaire and not another. You will get shit from some people if you talk publicly about this stuff. You will get shit from some people if you don’t talk publicly about this stuff. Whatever you do or don’t do, you will get shit from some people.
(Emphasis is mine, by the way.)
Nowadays, every topic a person can conceivably have an opinion on, feels like a minefield.
Heck, even proven scientific facts, like "the earth is round", can be seen as controversial.
And we are at the point where not having an opinion on something, can be labeled as
being as bad as having the "wrong" opinion. Things like You sure show your privilege, since
you have the luxury of not thinking about X ethnic group/the animals/this or that war/the
children/etc.
Those paragraphs reminded me of something I read earlier in the week, in Manu's post "On using Apple products". This post touches on a similar topic in some way, but from a more individual point of view. So it gets closer to my original thought. Emphasis is mine, again.
If I find out that the Volvo CEO is eating babies in their spare time, what should I do? Sell my car? Do I need to check if the Suunto CEO is a piece of shit to make sure I can wear this watch on my wrist and still feel at peace with myself? Frankly, I think it’s an exhausting way to live a life, and I’d be better off focusing all those energies somewhere else, trying to make something good, something that has a positive impact on the people around me.
And this doesn't want to be a condemnation of the people who are doing the switch. These are all people I have nothing but respect for, and they’re free to do whatever they want with their lives. If they think this is something worth doing, more power to them. And I deeply appreciate the fact that they take time to share their perspectives publicly on their site. That’s why I love the open web.
More on Manu on the post I am intending to write after I finish this one.[2]
Manu's I think it’s an exhausting way to live a life
was so close to the conclusion I
had arrived just a few days earlier, when I was floating in a swimming pool, in the ocean.
Probably ruining something in the environment, instead of philosophizing at home.
Maria commented getting changed that day, that she didn't feel comfortable showing off her
body in a swimsuit, even after seeing women of all types wearing them during the last couple
days in the cruise. So she still preferred to wear shorts on top of the suite.
I was reassuring, but at this point in the marriage (and adult life I guess) I understand the
problem is not how I perceive her, or any others do, but how she feels comfortable or not
herself.
A few minutes after that, I was swimming on my own and noticed by the poolside two unrelated, not-in-the-same-group women, side by side. Their bodies couldn't be more different, and that plus Maria's earlier comment made me have a well meaning, but very stupid thought: "If instead of a son we had a daughter, maybe Maria should not wear extra shorts. To show our daughter all bodies are OK, and setting an example of bravery and acceptance".
And while I imaged how that would be a great for this little girl, that she will be inspired by her mom's bravery, I had a slightly more coherent thought. "Isn't it also a great example of agency and independence, to show our[3] daughter that Maria can wear whatever she wants to the pool? That she doesn't need to conform to any norm about what to wear or not?"
And then I felt ashamed, because, how do I dare put the weight of being exemplary in Maria? Is she supposed to be miserable because "she needs to be inspiring?". It's her body, her clothes, and her choice. Heck, she could decide to wear something different every day based entirely on her mood that morning.
And because I was floating and didn't have anything else to do, my mind started (not racing, but wandering) in all these thoughts about "being inspiring" and how everything you do and don't do nowadays has an implicit message or hidden meaning.
I am chubby[4] and I am having a pizza. Is it a statement about how I respect my food choices and bravely pick something I like over the healthy option? Or I just felt like having a pizza today.
Oh I have a blog. That means I am rebelling against the Big Corp internet establishment. Or
maybe I just wanted a space to write, and was narcissistic enough to get my own and put my
name on it, instead of using a readily available third party service. What if it's a bit of
both at the same time?
Should every reader of this space care about it? About either of those two. Or care
about neither...
I reached a similar conclusion to Manu's. It is exhausting that every single thing you do or don't do needs to have a hidden meaning. What if some causes are closer to your heart, and others not. Does not caring about world hunger invalidate your effort to say, generate less trash?
What bothered me the most about my initial """idea""", and makes me a bit ashamed, is how
quickly I was assuming I should/could have a say in someone else's choices, bodies,
preferences.
Yes, I didn't do it in the name
of a religion, I had "good
intentions"...does it make a difference? Aren't the people I mentioned in that other post also
full of "good intentions"?
Anyway, the thoughts and realizations that I had that afternoon stuck with me. So much so that
I saw a thread of connection when I read the other posts. Even if the topics were not really
related.
I would like to think I learned something important that will stick in my skull for the rest of
my life...